As far as the AFC is concerned, there seems to be a common trend among the playoff hopefuls and shoe-ins. The Patriots, Steelers, and Ravens are all once again representing the top tier of teams heading to the playoffs. The Texans have finally gotten over the hump that has plagued the franchise since their inaugural year, but have also lost their star QB Matt Schaub in the process. One of the teams among the Broncos and Raiders will be squeaking in, while the last seed has yet to be determined with the Titans, Bengals, and Jets all hoping to snag that final 6th seed.
Personally, out of the last five teams mentioned in the previous paragraph, none of them have the stamina to make a splash come January. Even if one were to inch out a victory versus a much superior opponent, there is no way they have the skill set to win the conference. Sadly, I would have to throw the Texans under the bus as well, as I cannot imagine T.J. Yates hoisting up a trophy in early February.
Therefore, by process of elimination, I have to resort to the Patriots, Steelers, or Ravens as my choice to take this AFC by storm. The Patriots have a clear advantage on offense with 100 more points scored than any other team in the conference. Tom Brady is still the quarterback, Wes Welker is still everything else, and they should have no problems winning at least one playoff game. However, this team, just like the Packers, have some serious problems defensively. They still have the 32nd ranked passing defense in the nation and have for most of the regular season. Granted, they will not have to face anyone by the likes of Drew Brees, but a hobbled Big Ben and consistently inconsistent Joey Flacco are no slouches. They know how to win in the playoffs and have stifling defenses to back up their sometimes average play. If the Pats are going to make a run at another title, it will have to be because of their offense outdueling two of the best secondaries in the country.
Each game should be a shootout, but I still feel that the Ravens have the most sound group on both sides of the ball to make it to the big dance. Ray Rice can run and catch with the best of them, and the defense is as experienced as any other in the league. Whether they end up playing the Pats or Steelers in the championship game, I believe they will hold the opponent down long enough to pull out a tight victory. Now, can they do the same thing against a team like, say, the Saints or Packers? Only time will tell.
Super Bowl Prediction - Ravens v. Saints
You don't agree? Suck it.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
The Playoff Picture - NFC
With one week left in the season, and 9 of the 12 teams clinching a playoff spot, let me be one of many to begin predicting which teams will inevitably play for the coveted Lombardi trophy.
NFC:
From afar, this conference looks like a closed book. Aaron Rodgers and company have rolled through almost every opponent they have faced outside of "The Neckbeard" himself Kyle Orton, and the Pack did not show any remorse on Christmas Day playing a woeful, discouraged Bears team. Also, Greg Jennings will be returning from injury for their first game after the Round 1 bye week and the righteous path to the promise land must go through Lambeau as well; where Green Bay has yet to lose. This seems fitting for the defending champs to repeat their title and prove they are the best of the best once again. BUT WAIT!
There happens to be a team... way down south, with a quarterback just as strong, just as accurate, just as undefeated at home, and is currently riding a 7-game winning streak to boot. The team I am referring to, if you have been living under a rock for the past month, is the New Orleans Saints. Sure, San Francisco's defense has been stellar and the Lions put up a lot of points, but the ONLY team in my mind that can compete with last year's Super Bowl Champions are the ones from the year before that. They both run high powered passing offenses with freakishly good QB's throwing 70% of their passes for completions. Also, New Orleans has two Pro Bowl offensive tackles this year to guard Brees, and the Saints offense has only a 12 point scoring differential this year from those 14-1 Packers.
The key stat, however, will be with the Packers defensively. Believe this or not but; the Packers have now allowed more yards from scrimmage than they have gained this year. Whoa. This stat may seem arbitrary to the naked eye but for someone that has seen how many yards that offense racks up on a daily basis, it really proves that the Pack have some serious holes, particularly in their secondary. This team has allowed more than 240 yards passing to QB's named McCown, Orton, and Palmer in the last three weeks, while allowing more than 275 passing yards to Manning (347), Stafford (276), and Freeman (342!) in the previous three before that. Now, I do not mean to deprecate the talent level of these passers, but they are children compared to the new NFL record holder for yards in a single season. I fully expect Breezy to go into Lambeau, hurl that pigskin 40-45 times, and leave 70,000 cheesehead fans disappointed that their boys could not become dynasty-worthy with a repeat title. Therefore, if it comes down to a Saints-Packers shootout for the NFC Championship, my money will hang in the balance of dem dat der Saints.
Soon to come... AFC predictions
NFC:
From afar, this conference looks like a closed book. Aaron Rodgers and company have rolled through almost every opponent they have faced outside of "The Neckbeard" himself Kyle Orton, and the Pack did not show any remorse on Christmas Day playing a woeful, discouraged Bears team. Also, Greg Jennings will be returning from injury for their first game after the Round 1 bye week and the righteous path to the promise land must go through Lambeau as well; where Green Bay has yet to lose. This seems fitting for the defending champs to repeat their title and prove they are the best of the best once again. BUT WAIT!
There happens to be a team... way down south, with a quarterback just as strong, just as accurate, just as undefeated at home, and is currently riding a 7-game winning streak to boot. The team I am referring to, if you have been living under a rock for the past month, is the New Orleans Saints. Sure, San Francisco's defense has been stellar and the Lions put up a lot of points, but the ONLY team in my mind that can compete with last year's Super Bowl Champions are the ones from the year before that. They both run high powered passing offenses with freakishly good QB's throwing 70% of their passes for completions. Also, New Orleans has two Pro Bowl offensive tackles this year to guard Brees, and the Saints offense has only a 12 point scoring differential this year from those 14-1 Packers.
The key stat, however, will be with the Packers defensively. Believe this or not but; the Packers have now allowed more yards from scrimmage than they have gained this year. Whoa. This stat may seem arbitrary to the naked eye but for someone that has seen how many yards that offense racks up on a daily basis, it really proves that the Pack have some serious holes, particularly in their secondary. This team has allowed more than 240 yards passing to QB's named McCown, Orton, and Palmer in the last three weeks, while allowing more than 275 passing yards to Manning (347), Stafford (276), and Freeman (342!) in the previous three before that. Now, I do not mean to deprecate the talent level of these passers, but they are children compared to the new NFL record holder for yards in a single season. I fully expect Breezy to go into Lambeau, hurl that pigskin 40-45 times, and leave 70,000 cheesehead fans disappointed that their boys could not become dynasty-worthy with a repeat title. Therefore, if it comes down to a Saints-Packers shootout for the NFC Championship, my money will hang in the balance of dem dat der Saints.
Soon to come... AFC predictions
Friday, December 23, 2011
Unlucky Wins
Like the Texans before them, I really hope the Jaguars take a dive against the Colts in week 17, leading their divisitonmates to a 3-13 season.
Should the Jaguars not win their week 17 matchup (Jaguars? Losing? Lunacy, I know.), both the Vikings and the Rams will have a chance to finish with shittier records than the streaking Colts.
St. Louis's remaining schedule is daunting, with two playoff-bound teams on the docket. The Vikings, however, have a date with Rex Grossman's Redskins this Sunday followed by a visit from the Jay Cutlerless, Matt Forteless, Chicago Bears to close out the season. In other words, if Minnesota wants to have a hand in the ongoing "Suck for Luck", they're going to have to outsuck the plummeting Chicago Bears. With Adrian Peterson returning to the lineup for the Vikings, it isn't a stretch to call the 2011 "Suck for Luck" a two horse race.
I'm a Bears fan, I've seen a baker's dozen quarterbacks come through town only to prove that they have as much business being on a football field as Jerry Angelo does sitting behind a "General Manager" nameplate. The last goddamn thing I want to see is some jackoff fanbase in the middle of Indifuckingana get gifted another incredibly talented quarterback just as Peyton Manning gets the professional athlete Old Yeller treatment.
So I ask you, Jaguars, to take a look at your hapless quarterback situation and decide that it's in your best interests to win in week 17. Is a 4-12 regular season that much worse than being the Colts' whipping boy for another decade?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
St. Tebow Aquinas
How would Tim Tebow respond if, while taking a knee and doing what he does best, someone snuck up beside him and perched his penis and/or balls on Tebow's head?
Hear me out, I'm under the impression that he is abstaining from sex because a book told him to. That's all well and good, no judgement here. Is it outlandish to think he refuses to engage in fisticuffs for the same reason? Me thinkith not.
Most amusing scenario: Tebow throws an FSU or Oakland Raider jersey at the offender and charges him, maybe delivers a stiff arm to the face or something of that nature. That way Jeebus totally forgives him for losing his cool, "football related gaffe" says the big man, no big deal.
Otherwise you gotta believe Tebow steadfastly sticks to his kneel and prayer, asking the lawd for the strength and humility to be the hardest working, grittiest, and winningest nutrest the University of Florida has ever produced. And really, that is quite a task.
The Aura of the #1 pick
What seems like an eternity ago, I was in the midst of one of the greatest times of the sporting year. That time was mid-August. And although this may come across as the lull before football, basketball, and hockey season, as well as the period where my beloved Chicago White Sox are raising their white flag while promoting half of their farm system in order to finish the season third in the division; there are still the fantasy football drafts.
Within each draft, there is always that one person; the one everyone wants to be and yet dreads to be all at once; who has the first pick of the draft. This particular year, I was blessed with having that pick in one of my many leagues. It always seems though, with that pick, there is a safe assumption of who to take. The consensus this year was to pick Adrian Peterson, and let everyone else fight it out in order to find their 'moneymaker'. AP is safe and consistent and easy. Or so it seems. Lets dig deeper shall we.
First off, I'd like to blindly blame the lockout for what has caused this epidemic in injuries, specifically tailoring to running backs. AP, Arian Foster, Fred Jackson, Jamaal Charles, Steven Jackson, and probably more that you can call me out on later have all missed weeks upon weeks due to injuries. And although AP did produce well through week 9, he was nowhere near the top of the fantasy charts. "But Cory, how could you take someone other than Peterson with the top pick?" Well, I'll tell you. Peterson was not in the top 30 of fantasy scorers this year, and even if he earned 20 points each week for the three weeks he was injured, he would still not fall into the top 10. The top four producers were all QBs, while three other RBs graced the top ten on the charts, one of which missed two weeks of the season (Foster). Am I telling you to take a quarterback with your top pick and throw the mighty AP to the wind? Maybe. But even with QBs only receiving 4 points per TD as with most leagues, the elite are still outscoring every other player by at least 20 points.
If I have the privilege of receiving the first pick next year, I might rethink my 'safe bet' in AP, and mutter the words 'Rodgers' or 'Newton'. Yea, I said it. Cam Newton. #1 overall. WHY NOT? "Matt Ryan can lead my team and I can get him in the third round". Go ahead, be my guest. But know that there is a 100 point swing from those top four QB's compared to anyone else (Brady and Brees included). Oh, but you want a prolific running back because he will get more points per touchdown? Draft Cam Newton. And the fact that he is doing this in his rookie year should bode well for those wide eyed fantasy managers looking to snag the next big thing. He has 17 passing TD's and 13 rushing TD's to match his 16 picks, and even if those interceptions don't diminish over time, he will likely see more scoring throws through the air, and pound an achievable 10 scores on the ground. Defenses might try to tighten as they did with Vick, but the Kid is only 22 years old, and he his legs are as sharp as ever. All I'm saying is to look for Cam to be atop most fantasy charts come next August, and look for me to be taking him.
PS I have the first pick in my basketball draft this year too, but don't worry, I'll wait 6 months until I don't make the playoffs again to bitch about my decision here too.
Within each draft, there is always that one person; the one everyone wants to be and yet dreads to be all at once; who has the first pick of the draft. This particular year, I was blessed with having that pick in one of my many leagues. It always seems though, with that pick, there is a safe assumption of who to take. The consensus this year was to pick Adrian Peterson, and let everyone else fight it out in order to find their 'moneymaker'. AP is safe and consistent and easy. Or so it seems. Lets dig deeper shall we.
First off, I'd like to blindly blame the lockout for what has caused this epidemic in injuries, specifically tailoring to running backs. AP, Arian Foster, Fred Jackson, Jamaal Charles, Steven Jackson, and probably more that you can call me out on later have all missed weeks upon weeks due to injuries. And although AP did produce well through week 9, he was nowhere near the top of the fantasy charts. "But Cory, how could you take someone other than Peterson with the top pick?" Well, I'll tell you. Peterson was not in the top 30 of fantasy scorers this year, and even if he earned 20 points each week for the three weeks he was injured, he would still not fall into the top 10. The top four producers were all QBs, while three other RBs graced the top ten on the charts, one of which missed two weeks of the season (Foster). Am I telling you to take a quarterback with your top pick and throw the mighty AP to the wind? Maybe. But even with QBs only receiving 4 points per TD as with most leagues, the elite are still outscoring every other player by at least 20 points.
If I have the privilege of receiving the first pick next year, I might rethink my 'safe bet' in AP, and mutter the words 'Rodgers' or 'Newton'. Yea, I said it. Cam Newton. #1 overall. WHY NOT? "Matt Ryan can lead my team and I can get him in the third round". Go ahead, be my guest. But know that there is a 100 point swing from those top four QB's compared to anyone else (Brady and Brees included). Oh, but you want a prolific running back because he will get more points per touchdown? Draft Cam Newton. And the fact that he is doing this in his rookie year should bode well for those wide eyed fantasy managers looking to snag the next big thing. He has 17 passing TD's and 13 rushing TD's to match his 16 picks, and even if those interceptions don't diminish over time, he will likely see more scoring throws through the air, and pound an achievable 10 scores on the ground. Defenses might try to tighten as they did with Vick, but the Kid is only 22 years old, and he his legs are as sharp as ever. All I'm saying is to look for Cam to be atop most fantasy charts come next August, and look for me to be taking him.
PS I have the first pick in my basketball draft this year too, but don't worry, I'll wait 6 months until I don't make the playoffs again to bitch about my decision here too.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Senseless Sports
The fact that 'sports' and a lack of sense are associated with the title of this blog does not mean that I will limit myself to bitching and complaining about only the inaccuracies or misguided thoughts in the sporting world. Nor does it mean that I won't. We all need the freedom as red-blooded Americans to love or hate anyone and everyone as we so choose, and I will not hesitate to show my distaste for culturally irrelevant athletes or celebrities that have become an icon where they are not welcome.
Yes, I'm looking at you Drew Barrymore, all Kardashians and their subsequent man-bitch lovers, any other celebrity that has gained fame primarily due to receiving a contract to display their life on E!, Tim Tebow, LBJ (the fuckstain athlete, not the former President), Sidney Crosby, most Boston Red Sox players, all Boston Red Sox fans, Nicholas Cage (Ghost Rider is playing on repeat in hell), Katherine Heigl (not hot), and many others that I will be sure to remember and mention over time.
Many of you may be saying "hey, Katherine Heigl is hot" or "hey, Tim Tebow is a first class do-gooder", and to that I say "Create your own blog discussing why someone who makes terrible movies or makes terrible throws on a football field can become so renound". Lets discuss.
Ah, Tim Tebow. The Golden Boy of the National Football League. Loved by devout christians, loved in Denver, loved in Florida, hated by seemingly everyone else. Now, I'll be the first to admit that you cannot achieve 6 game winning streaks and receive your own SportsCenter hour on a fluke. Hell, I am currently writing about this anomily that is Tebow as we speak. However, we as a people, need to come together and realize that winning games does NOT distinguish him to be a good quarterback. For God sake, Trent fucking Dilfer won a SUPER BOWL at the helm behind that tormenting Ravens D in 2000. Now he's just another shitbrain discussing how Tebow's inaccuracy can be overlooked because he plays with grittiness and the 'ability to win'.
The Tebow is a roller coaster ride that is just finally reaching that final loop of fun and excitement, and while it made me pee my pants a little during the ride; it will indeed end with a screeching halt and everyone will put their harnesses back in the upright and locked positions. "But Tim can run, and yell, and believes in Jesus Christ our savior!!". Save it. He throws with 50% accuracy, and has beaten teams of the likes of the Chargers, Jets, and Bears to say the MOST. Granted, he gets credit for not throwing interceptions and avoiding mistakes, but then why is he so much more of a story than Aaron Rodgers who has thrown four more INT's than Timmy, but also 29 more TD's!? Or Drew Brees, who has quietly thrown 37 TD's while still connecting with 70% of his receivers?! Or shit, Cam fuckin' Newton has broken the rushing record for a QB and is on the verge of breaking every rookie passing record as well. But no, Tim Tebow gets all the attention for winning with the immense help of his kicker and defense. Maybe I don't like him because he is from Florida, maybe it's his trademark kneel, or maybe it's what the media has made me perceive of him morphing into John Elway Jr. Either way, he still looked like Bubby Brister out there against Tom Brady and his 32nd ranked pass defense. Oh yea, and Tom is 11-3.
Yes, I'm looking at you Drew Barrymore, all Kardashians and their subsequent man-bitch lovers, any other celebrity that has gained fame primarily due to receiving a contract to display their life on E!, Tim Tebow, LBJ (the fuckstain athlete, not the former President), Sidney Crosby, most Boston Red Sox players, all Boston Red Sox fans, Nicholas Cage (Ghost Rider is playing on repeat in hell), Katherine Heigl (not hot), and many others that I will be sure to remember and mention over time.
Many of you may be saying "hey, Katherine Heigl is hot" or "hey, Tim Tebow is a first class do-gooder", and to that I say "Create your own blog discussing why someone who makes terrible movies or makes terrible throws on a football field can become so renound". Lets discuss.
Ah, Tim Tebow. The Golden Boy of the National Football League. Loved by devout christians, loved in Denver, loved in Florida, hated by seemingly everyone else. Now, I'll be the first to admit that you cannot achieve 6 game winning streaks and receive your own SportsCenter hour on a fluke. Hell, I am currently writing about this anomily that is Tebow as we speak. However, we as a people, need to come together and realize that winning games does NOT distinguish him to be a good quarterback. For God sake, Trent fucking Dilfer won a SUPER BOWL at the helm behind that tormenting Ravens D in 2000. Now he's just another shitbrain discussing how Tebow's inaccuracy can be overlooked because he plays with grittiness and the 'ability to win'.
The Tebow is a roller coaster ride that is just finally reaching that final loop of fun and excitement, and while it made me pee my pants a little during the ride; it will indeed end with a screeching halt and everyone will put their harnesses back in the upright and locked positions. "But Tim can run, and yell, and believes in Jesus Christ our savior!!". Save it. He throws with 50% accuracy, and has beaten teams of the likes of the Chargers, Jets, and Bears to say the MOST. Granted, he gets credit for not throwing interceptions and avoiding mistakes, but then why is he so much more of a story than Aaron Rodgers who has thrown four more INT's than Timmy, but also 29 more TD's!? Or Drew Brees, who has quietly thrown 37 TD's while still connecting with 70% of his receivers?! Or shit, Cam fuckin' Newton has broken the rushing record for a QB and is on the verge of breaking every rookie passing record as well. But no, Tim Tebow gets all the attention for winning with the immense help of his kicker and defense. Maybe I don't like him because he is from Florida, maybe it's his trademark kneel, or maybe it's what the media has made me perceive of him morphing into John Elway Jr. Either way, he still looked like Bubby Brister out there against Tom Brady and his 32nd ranked pass defense. Oh yea, and Tom is 11-3.
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