This morning, along with every morning for past week, I have turned on ESPN to watch the highlights from sports around the country that I might have missed out on. Whether that be a nail-biting NCAA basketball game, or an overtime shootout win in hockey, I was just looking for my daily fix. Low and behold, this morning has followed suit in disappointing me from these game summaries to talk about the Super Bowl... again.
I get it, I get it. The Super Bowl is the largest single game sporting event in the world every year, and it is ESPN's duty to show its diligence in providing thorough detail about the game. But how can there be enough enticing information to take up 45% (ACTUAL STAT) of SportsCenter's hourly coverage? That is absurd! For two whole weeks, there is nothing but dissecting plays, injury reports, live press conferences, Tony Dungy, Trent Dilfer, predictions, coincidences, David Tyree montages, etc. I have had enough! I don't care to know Bill Belicheck's thought process on where he would play Julian Edelman when he drafted him out of Kent State as a quarterback. And yes, that is the entirety of the SportsCenter coverage I saw this very morning. It doesn't help that I already do not care about the two teams playing, especially considering the fact that Boston and New York fans are the ones relishing in this, but ESPN could not wait to jump on this bandwagon of city rivalries and beat the issues of this game to a bloody pulp.
I would say that I am excited for this to finally be over, but we all know that the week after the Super Bowl will have even more coverage of the game summary, tied with commercials about buying the memorable DVD collection for the victors. If this is the case (and we know it will be), I think I would rather opt to watch re-runs of whatever sitcom is playing on TBS these days. Thanks ESPN, for diluting my competitive spirit.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Shakedown Showdown
Well, these NFL playoffs have taken a complete turn from anything anyone expected. If you have a friend who is claiming that they "predicted" that the NFC championship would consist of the 49ers and Giants duking it out to play in February, slap them. Hard. Immediately. Because they will be lying to your face, and you deserve better than that. Maybe this underlying anger is stemming from the fact that the Saints were my prediction to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl or that I actually found myself hating the team from New York more than those overhyped cheeseheads. Whatever the reason, I am just happy America can still potentially see a rematch of the Harbaugh brothers on the sidelines of the NFL's final game.
Who, as true fans of the NFL as a whole, wants the Patriots to be in the Super Bowl... again? They will undoubtedly be the favorite against whoever they play, and if there is a rematch of the Giants-Pats from 2007, my brain might implode from the coverage ESPN will have about how the David Tyree catch was some magical act of God. And with Tebow-Mania finally over, you just know that will be their focal points for 12 hours a day for the two weeks leading up to the big game.
For those of you hoping for a shootout of Rodgers and Brees, you have been disappointed. For those hoping the two best teams in football would be in the Super Bowl together, you have once again been disappointed. For the sake of this sport, I really hope a team wins that I can actually root for (Niners, Ravens), because otherwise, I will have to resort to patiently hoping my squares match up at halftime for $100 instead of cheering on someone to score and garner bragging rights over their overvalued rival.
Who, as true fans of the NFL as a whole, wants the Patriots to be in the Super Bowl... again? They will undoubtedly be the favorite against whoever they play, and if there is a rematch of the Giants-Pats from 2007, my brain might implode from the coverage ESPN will have about how the David Tyree catch was some magical act of God. And with Tebow-Mania finally over, you just know that will be their focal points for 12 hours a day for the two weeks leading up to the big game.
For those of you hoping for a shootout of Rodgers and Brees, you have been disappointed. For those hoping the two best teams in football would be in the Super Bowl together, you have once again been disappointed. For the sake of this sport, I really hope a team wins that I can actually root for (Niners, Ravens), because otherwise, I will have to resort to patiently hoping my squares match up at halftime for $100 instead of cheering on someone to score and garner bragging rights over their overvalued rival.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
A Racial Sports Showdown
So while reading Deadspin (ie. the sports blogger's bible), I came across a question asked to one of my favorite writer's about an all-black NFL team vs. an all-white NFL team. I do not want to condone racism, nor can I dive further into this discussion because, if you look up "Drew Magary Deadspin" on Google, you can surely find the appropriate response. However, it got me thinking. What about baseball? What about if the all-Caucasian team played the all-Black/Hispanic team? Would it be a decisive blowout? Lets see if we can create a starting roster of position players, starting pitchers, and a closer to find who would have a clear advantage in this clash of the races.
Whites
C - Brian McCann
1B - Joey Votto
2B - Chase Utley
SS - Troy Tulowitzki
3B - Evan Longoria
RF - Hunter Pence
CF - Jacoby Ellsbury (yes, he is a small portion Native American, but gimme a break)
LF - Ryan Braun
SP - Clayton Kershaw
SP - Roy Halladay
SP - Cliff Lee
SP - Justin Verlander
SP - Tim Lincecum
CL - Brian Wilson
Black/Hispanic
C - Victor Martinez
1B - Albert Pujols
2B - Robinson Cano
SS - Hanley Ramirez
3B - Adrian Beltre
RF - Jose Bautista
CF - Matt Kemp
LF - Carlos Gonzalez
SP - C.C. Sabathia
SP - David Price
SP - Yovoni Gallardo
SP - Felix Hernandez
SP - Gio Gonzalez
CL - Mariano Rivera
Here are the rosters according to who I feel are the top at each position for their designated teams. And while I feel the Black/Hispanic team does have a clear advantage in power hitting, the Whites are far deeper in starting pitching. Even the fifth best starter on that team, whomever it may be, is still arguably better than the best starter on the Black/Hispanic team. If it came down to it, and this game could actually get played, which would be awesome to watch, I do believe that the Whites would take it by a very slim margin of a 5-4 score because pitching does indeed rule over the mighty bat.
This all being said, racism is bad, and should not be tolerated. This is strictly a hypothetical experiement and not intended to offend anyone. Go Equality!
Whites
C - Brian McCann
1B - Joey Votto
2B - Chase Utley
SS - Troy Tulowitzki
3B - Evan Longoria
RF - Hunter Pence
CF - Jacoby Ellsbury (yes, he is a small portion Native American, but gimme a break)
LF - Ryan Braun
SP - Clayton Kershaw
SP - Roy Halladay
SP - Cliff Lee
SP - Justin Verlander
SP - Tim Lincecum
CL - Brian Wilson
Black/Hispanic
C - Victor Martinez
1B - Albert Pujols
2B - Robinson Cano
SS - Hanley Ramirez
3B - Adrian Beltre
RF - Jose Bautista
CF - Matt Kemp
LF - Carlos Gonzalez
SP - C.C. Sabathia
SP - David Price
SP - Yovoni Gallardo
SP - Felix Hernandez
SP - Gio Gonzalez
CL - Mariano Rivera
Here are the rosters according to who I feel are the top at each position for their designated teams. And while I feel the Black/Hispanic team does have a clear advantage in power hitting, the Whites are far deeper in starting pitching. Even the fifth best starter on that team, whomever it may be, is still arguably better than the best starter on the Black/Hispanic team. If it came down to it, and this game could actually get played, which would be awesome to watch, I do believe that the Whites would take it by a very slim margin of a 5-4 score because pitching does indeed rule over the mighty bat.
This all being said, racism is bad, and should not be tolerated. This is strictly a hypothetical experiement and not intended to offend anyone. Go Equality!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The Playoff Picture - AFC
As far as the AFC is concerned, there seems to be a common trend among the playoff hopefuls and shoe-ins. The Patriots, Steelers, and Ravens are all once again representing the top tier of teams heading to the playoffs. The Texans have finally gotten over the hump that has plagued the franchise since their inaugural year, but have also lost their star QB Matt Schaub in the process. One of the teams among the Broncos and Raiders will be squeaking in, while the last seed has yet to be determined with the Titans, Bengals, and Jets all hoping to snag that final 6th seed.
Personally, out of the last five teams mentioned in the previous paragraph, none of them have the stamina to make a splash come January. Even if one were to inch out a victory versus a much superior opponent, there is no way they have the skill set to win the conference. Sadly, I would have to throw the Texans under the bus as well, as I cannot imagine T.J. Yates hoisting up a trophy in early February.
Therefore, by process of elimination, I have to resort to the Patriots, Steelers, or Ravens as my choice to take this AFC by storm. The Patriots have a clear advantage on offense with 100 more points scored than any other team in the conference. Tom Brady is still the quarterback, Wes Welker is still everything else, and they should have no problems winning at least one playoff game. However, this team, just like the Packers, have some serious problems defensively. They still have the 32nd ranked passing defense in the nation and have for most of the regular season. Granted, they will not have to face anyone by the likes of Drew Brees, but a hobbled Big Ben and consistently inconsistent Joey Flacco are no slouches. They know how to win in the playoffs and have stifling defenses to back up their sometimes average play. If the Pats are going to make a run at another title, it will have to be because of their offense outdueling two of the best secondaries in the country.
Each game should be a shootout, but I still feel that the Ravens have the most sound group on both sides of the ball to make it to the big dance. Ray Rice can run and catch with the best of them, and the defense is as experienced as any other in the league. Whether they end up playing the Pats or Steelers in the championship game, I believe they will hold the opponent down long enough to pull out a tight victory. Now, can they do the same thing against a team like, say, the Saints or Packers? Only time will tell.
Super Bowl Prediction - Ravens v. Saints
You don't agree? Suck it.
Personally, out of the last five teams mentioned in the previous paragraph, none of them have the stamina to make a splash come January. Even if one were to inch out a victory versus a much superior opponent, there is no way they have the skill set to win the conference. Sadly, I would have to throw the Texans under the bus as well, as I cannot imagine T.J. Yates hoisting up a trophy in early February.
Therefore, by process of elimination, I have to resort to the Patriots, Steelers, or Ravens as my choice to take this AFC by storm. The Patriots have a clear advantage on offense with 100 more points scored than any other team in the conference. Tom Brady is still the quarterback, Wes Welker is still everything else, and they should have no problems winning at least one playoff game. However, this team, just like the Packers, have some serious problems defensively. They still have the 32nd ranked passing defense in the nation and have for most of the regular season. Granted, they will not have to face anyone by the likes of Drew Brees, but a hobbled Big Ben and consistently inconsistent Joey Flacco are no slouches. They know how to win in the playoffs and have stifling defenses to back up their sometimes average play. If the Pats are going to make a run at another title, it will have to be because of their offense outdueling two of the best secondaries in the country.
Each game should be a shootout, but I still feel that the Ravens have the most sound group on both sides of the ball to make it to the big dance. Ray Rice can run and catch with the best of them, and the defense is as experienced as any other in the league. Whether they end up playing the Pats or Steelers in the championship game, I believe they will hold the opponent down long enough to pull out a tight victory. Now, can they do the same thing against a team like, say, the Saints or Packers? Only time will tell.
Super Bowl Prediction - Ravens v. Saints
You don't agree? Suck it.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
The Playoff Picture - NFC
With one week left in the season, and 9 of the 12 teams clinching a playoff spot, let me be one of many to begin predicting which teams will inevitably play for the coveted Lombardi trophy.
NFC:
From afar, this conference looks like a closed book. Aaron Rodgers and company have rolled through almost every opponent they have faced outside of "The Neckbeard" himself Kyle Orton, and the Pack did not show any remorse on Christmas Day playing a woeful, discouraged Bears team. Also, Greg Jennings will be returning from injury for their first game after the Round 1 bye week and the righteous path to the promise land must go through Lambeau as well; where Green Bay has yet to lose. This seems fitting for the defending champs to repeat their title and prove they are the best of the best once again. BUT WAIT!
There happens to be a team... way down south, with a quarterback just as strong, just as accurate, just as undefeated at home, and is currently riding a 7-game winning streak to boot. The team I am referring to, if you have been living under a rock for the past month, is the New Orleans Saints. Sure, San Francisco's defense has been stellar and the Lions put up a lot of points, but the ONLY team in my mind that can compete with last year's Super Bowl Champions are the ones from the year before that. They both run high powered passing offenses with freakishly good QB's throwing 70% of their passes for completions. Also, New Orleans has two Pro Bowl offensive tackles this year to guard Brees, and the Saints offense has only a 12 point scoring differential this year from those 14-1 Packers.
The key stat, however, will be with the Packers defensively. Believe this or not but; the Packers have now allowed more yards from scrimmage than they have gained this year. Whoa. This stat may seem arbitrary to the naked eye but for someone that has seen how many yards that offense racks up on a daily basis, it really proves that the Pack have some serious holes, particularly in their secondary. This team has allowed more than 240 yards passing to QB's named McCown, Orton, and Palmer in the last three weeks, while allowing more than 275 passing yards to Manning (347), Stafford (276), and Freeman (342!) in the previous three before that. Now, I do not mean to deprecate the talent level of these passers, but they are children compared to the new NFL record holder for yards in a single season. I fully expect Breezy to go into Lambeau, hurl that pigskin 40-45 times, and leave 70,000 cheesehead fans disappointed that their boys could not become dynasty-worthy with a repeat title. Therefore, if it comes down to a Saints-Packers shootout for the NFC Championship, my money will hang in the balance of dem dat der Saints.
Soon to come... AFC predictions
NFC:
From afar, this conference looks like a closed book. Aaron Rodgers and company have rolled through almost every opponent they have faced outside of "The Neckbeard" himself Kyle Orton, and the Pack did not show any remorse on Christmas Day playing a woeful, discouraged Bears team. Also, Greg Jennings will be returning from injury for their first game after the Round 1 bye week and the righteous path to the promise land must go through Lambeau as well; where Green Bay has yet to lose. This seems fitting for the defending champs to repeat their title and prove they are the best of the best once again. BUT WAIT!
There happens to be a team... way down south, with a quarterback just as strong, just as accurate, just as undefeated at home, and is currently riding a 7-game winning streak to boot. The team I am referring to, if you have been living under a rock for the past month, is the New Orleans Saints. Sure, San Francisco's defense has been stellar and the Lions put up a lot of points, but the ONLY team in my mind that can compete with last year's Super Bowl Champions are the ones from the year before that. They both run high powered passing offenses with freakishly good QB's throwing 70% of their passes for completions. Also, New Orleans has two Pro Bowl offensive tackles this year to guard Brees, and the Saints offense has only a 12 point scoring differential this year from those 14-1 Packers.
The key stat, however, will be with the Packers defensively. Believe this or not but; the Packers have now allowed more yards from scrimmage than they have gained this year. Whoa. This stat may seem arbitrary to the naked eye but for someone that has seen how many yards that offense racks up on a daily basis, it really proves that the Pack have some serious holes, particularly in their secondary. This team has allowed more than 240 yards passing to QB's named McCown, Orton, and Palmer in the last three weeks, while allowing more than 275 passing yards to Manning (347), Stafford (276), and Freeman (342!) in the previous three before that. Now, I do not mean to deprecate the talent level of these passers, but they are children compared to the new NFL record holder for yards in a single season. I fully expect Breezy to go into Lambeau, hurl that pigskin 40-45 times, and leave 70,000 cheesehead fans disappointed that their boys could not become dynasty-worthy with a repeat title. Therefore, if it comes down to a Saints-Packers shootout for the NFC Championship, my money will hang in the balance of dem dat der Saints.
Soon to come... AFC predictions
Friday, December 23, 2011
Unlucky Wins
Like the Texans before them, I really hope the Jaguars take a dive against the Colts in week 17, leading their divisitonmates to a 3-13 season.
Should the Jaguars not win their week 17 matchup (Jaguars? Losing? Lunacy, I know.), both the Vikings and the Rams will have a chance to finish with shittier records than the streaking Colts.
St. Louis's remaining schedule is daunting, with two playoff-bound teams on the docket. The Vikings, however, have a date with Rex Grossman's Redskins this Sunday followed by a visit from the Jay Cutlerless, Matt Forteless, Chicago Bears to close out the season. In other words, if Minnesota wants to have a hand in the ongoing "Suck for Luck", they're going to have to outsuck the plummeting Chicago Bears. With Adrian Peterson returning to the lineup for the Vikings, it isn't a stretch to call the 2011 "Suck for Luck" a two horse race.
I'm a Bears fan, I've seen a baker's dozen quarterbacks come through town only to prove that they have as much business being on a football field as Jerry Angelo does sitting behind a "General Manager" nameplate. The last goddamn thing I want to see is some jackoff fanbase in the middle of Indifuckingana get gifted another incredibly talented quarterback just as Peyton Manning gets the professional athlete Old Yeller treatment.
So I ask you, Jaguars, to take a look at your hapless quarterback situation and decide that it's in your best interests to win in week 17. Is a 4-12 regular season that much worse than being the Colts' whipping boy for another decade?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
St. Tebow Aquinas
How would Tim Tebow respond if, while taking a knee and doing what he does best, someone snuck up beside him and perched his penis and/or balls on Tebow's head?
Hear me out, I'm under the impression that he is abstaining from sex because a book told him to. That's all well and good, no judgement here. Is it outlandish to think he refuses to engage in fisticuffs for the same reason? Me thinkith not.
Most amusing scenario: Tebow throws an FSU or Oakland Raider jersey at the offender and charges him, maybe delivers a stiff arm to the face or something of that nature. That way Jeebus totally forgives him for losing his cool, "football related gaffe" says the big man, no big deal.
Otherwise you gotta believe Tebow steadfastly sticks to his kneel and prayer, asking the lawd for the strength and humility to be the hardest working, grittiest, and winningest nutrest the University of Florida has ever produced. And really, that is quite a task.
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